Revelation!

Last week I had a appointment to see a specialist in FRCSC to assess me and see if any of my symptoms could be associated with the stones and if they can operate to remove the blather. As I proceed to explain my symptoms to the doctor, he look at me and said none of those symptons are connected to the stones. Which left me a little surprise I might say. I already knew the answer, but somehow felt vindicated. I ask him since I can't really feel the pain from the stones what can happen if it goes untreated. I was told that it can cause Hypothethis C or some other kind of disease and that because of my condition he would not operate. What now? I thank him and ask if anything change can I comeback and see him. I don't feel them for now but who knows maybe later. All of a sudden instead of panicking it's like I felt really relieved and peaceful inside, even though I don't have all the answers at least I know that we did everything to eliminate whatever other practical medical explanation for now. But still not enough it seems. Just because someone has more experience than me doesn't mean they know more than I do. It comes from within. It's what we know and how we feel. When something goes wrong we know it and try to fix it and maybe this is sometime that can't be done at this time. I am willing to accept that and like I told my doctor yesterday" I have made peace within myself and accept whatever happen". Doesn't mean in no way I accept the way it has been and being handled but it's out of my control now and have no other choice now but to wait...as they say.. I don't want to be irrational, I also know that these symptoms can make a person sound crazy but they are real maybe not explained properly but still the result would lead to the same conclusion, which can be fatal, which is what I can't quite understand at this point why more hasn't been done I'm tired of trying to make sense of it.. I just want to be understood not ignored which seems to be my biggest barrier at this time.For now I don't want to stressed myselft out too much and worrying ain't gonna make it better. With a positive attitude I can move forward and will face whatever challenge comes along.I have to chuckle a bit thinking back when this ill twist of faith happen I was like a injured kitten who got the back hand and turn into a raging pitt bull, I am sure their first instinct was when they saw me coming "Oh no here comes that raving lunatic lock the doors roflmao" now somehow they managed to tame me into submission and I am licking my wounds and looking for a compassionate hand and not a backhand. I will keep looking for answers, but I refuse to let this consume me the way it has since it started. I need to put my energy into getting better and the only one I have to thank for that is myself. They gave me some tools enough to survives but I had to find out the hard way how to implement them on my own. Now that I understand my condition better I can be more rational. I just smile and think just how wonderful it is to be here today....
Have a Wicked day:)